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11/03/2005: "Oh the rumors we will hear"


Yes, we're at the time in Hot Stove Season when the paucity of plausible information is such that every single possibility is being explored by some fan or columnist with space to fill; I have it from reliable sources that the Cardinals are looking into the other guy who played Willie Mays Hayes for some speed off the bench--worked for the White Sox, don'tchaknow.

One of the most worrisome of these rumors involves acquiring a certain one-time darling of the media and Bizarre MVP candidate, Juan Pierre. The same Juan Pierre who has exactly one above-average season with the bat, and who hits for so little power that Kurt Vonnegut is looking to do an irony-filled masterpiece about a hypothetical failed steroid test. (Slaughterhouse .385.) Don't get me wrong; Juan's an exciting player, no doubt, and he has his uses. But his reputation means he's going to start getting expensive, and I'd just as soon have John Rodriguez, John Gall, and John Sinunu split time in left as I would expend anything significant to acquire Juan Pierre. If there's one thing the Cardinals don't need, it's a guy who not only hits like Eckstein despite playing in the outfield--he throws like him, too.

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